A Lot of Frazzle With a Pinch of Dazzle

     I haven't written in a while for several reasons. It had been hard to find the combination of time and an available computer. Also, I just wasn't feeling up to it, honestly, the first several days at sea. I was taking in so much information I was completely exhausted come bed time. Now that I have been at sea for a couple weeks I feel like I can paint a fairer picture of my experiences.

     As we ceremoniously stood the length of the boat and pushed off the pier, I saw clusters of families embrace and disappear as we set out to sea. The goodbyes lingered as we passed the air force base and people had lined the shore waving and shouting best wishes and blessings. Our jaws were clenched a little tighter to fight back hot tears. We were now at full capacity with minds on the mission. There were seas to patrol, a country to protect, and a ship to relieve. 

    We hit the ground running with life on deployment and let me tell you, it is a fast paced world. I got lost in the mix for several days. I was feeling overwhelmed with the giant list of qualifications that were staring me in the face. I had few friends to talk to, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing at any given time, I had trouble relaxing and felt anxious all the time. I hadn't contacted home, taken anytime to myself, and the sheer number of qualifications was extremely daunting. This led to even less sleep than our schedule allowed and a recoil into a small depression. I hated life here and bitterly asked God to get me home and why He had placed me here in the first place. I had plans on turning to the Chaplain to see what my options were, though I knew they were few to none. There was absolutely no way I would be continuing this deployment or life as a sailor.

     I did end up talking to the Chaplain. However, God has other plans for me than letting me quit when things get rough. The Chaplain was able to bring me back down from the misery I was feeling. We made a manageable list of goals for the next two weeks. We prayed and he told me about the church service he was holding the following Sunday. He stressed the need to take time to myself everyday and do things unrelated to the Navy. He taught me how to be on deployment.

     Since then I have turned a corner. Trust and believe that there are times, on almost a daily basis, I feel like I can't possibly get through another day; that I've met my breaking point. But with God I can do all things. I have shifted my focus to my smaller list of goals, daily devotions, and concerning myself with how others are feeling. We are all feeling similar heartaches and are in the same boat so to speak... ;)

     The command had done a fantastic job of providing activities and distractions a few days a week to help with our moral. We have had an ice cream social and karaoke, a talent show, board games, bingo and popcorn, and we have a 'steel beach picnic' on Sunday afternoons. The grill is brought out to the flight deck for a BBQ, there is music and lawn chairs, and people bring out their fishing poles and guitars. We are able to socialize right there on the flight deck, play games, and watch the sunset. It has been something to look forward to each week and an opportunity to get to socialize and build comradery.

     Daily life is hectic, demanding, and long....My unit performs general maintenance on our system and runs through strike scenarios almost on a daily basis. As a ship we run training such as general quarters (simulated attack on the ship), man over-board drills, active shooting/anti-terrorism scenarios, medical emergencies, live fires of most of the weapons on board, and fire fighting. We train for the worst and hope for the best. In reality there are several flight ops a day as well as investigations of various contacts we monitor on a 24 hour basis, an enormous effort from the food specialist, and engineering department to keep the ship and crew running.

     We got a break from seriousness last week as we left the northern hemisphere to enter the southern hemisphere when we crossed the equator. The Navy has a tradition in which a ceremony is performed when this happens. They also have a tradition when the ship crosses the date line. We just so happened to do both at the same time! Sailors who have crossed the equator in the past are nicknamed Shellbacks and those who have not are nicknamed Pollywogs. The 'Wogs' undergo an initiation to be honored with the title of Shellback. It mainly consists of mildly embarrassing tasks including a silly uniform, a lot of singing, and a water logged obstacle course. This lasted all morning and about 150 of us not only earned our title as Shellback, but Golden Shellback for crossing both the equator and the date line at the same time. (I am now 16 hours ahead of the Central time zone).

      I will not have photos until we port. We are not allowed to insert anything into the computers on board for fear of operational security breaches.

     Thank you for your continued support, and love from afar. I'd love to hear from you all! Email, regular mail, photos, and packages are welcomed. There will be plenty of people who need a pick-me-up so if you feel so inclined to send mail to my shipmates or my entire work center please do so. Let me know if you'd like the mail to go to someone else in need and I am happy to deliver.